In the Arms of the Angels
by salizshipper
Summary: Sam and Elizabeth find common ground ... And share a kiss! An angsty yet hopeful SaLiz one shot. Femlash for the win!


**In the Arms of the Angels**

Elizabeth Webber had been inside The Floating Rib for a whole two-point-five-seconds when the commotion started. Her eyes immediately found the source of the dispute and she shook her head. A clearly intoxicated Sam Morgan was ranting and raving at Coleman who had just cut her off. "No more booze, Sammy," Coleman said. "You are two sheets – hell, you are fifty sheets - to the wind already. I'll call a cab for you; you need to go home and sleep it off."

"Fuck you to goddamn hell, Coleman Rat- whatever the hell your name is. Kiss my ass!" Sam spat at him and threw a beer bottle at him. He jumped aside and it hit the wall behind him, shattering into a million and one irreparable pieces. Elizabeth couldn't help but think that Sam must be feeling the same way. She had just suffered a truly devastating loss – another one, actually. Elizabeth actually felt sad for Sam and the two women hadn't seen eye to eye in so many years.

"I'm calling you a cab," Coleman said. "But you're lucky I don't call the po-po instead."

"Go ahead. See if I care. I have lost anything anyway. Maybe I belong in jail. Fuck yeah, I do. I was driving the car that – that –" She broke off, suddenly seemingly unable to speak, to even breathe. She began gasping for air, grabbing her throat as tears erupted down her face and her whole body shook violently. While everyone stood around looking at Sam like she was a social pariah, Elizabeth knew somehow that she couldn't do the same. She had taken an oath as a nurse to comfort those who needed comfort – even those who were her worst enemies.

Elizabeth threw off her jacket and hurried over to Sam. She looked at Coleman. "She's having a panic attack. Get her a paper bag please."

"Uh … Okay," Coleman said as he stood there for a moment uncertainly before springing into action.

In the meantime, Elizabeth moved to Sam and grasped her by either of her slender shoulders, propelling her quaking body towards the back of the bar. Sam tried resisting but the efforts were weak and heavy, and in that moment, Elizabeth had an edge over Sam. She was stronger because she had been through it and while dear lord it still hurt some days, she had been able to move on a bit. Sam didn't have the luxury of time passing. It had only been three or four days since_ It_ had happened.

Elizabeth guided Sam to the back staircase, away from the eyes of curious, judging patrons and forced her to a sitting position on the third step. "Stay there, okay, Sam? You're having a panic attack. You have to try to calm your breathing. You don't want to pass out do you?"

Sam said nothing as she kept gulping in deep, shuddering breaths. Finally, Coleman appeared with the paper bag and handed it to Elizabeth. "Should I call the men in white or –"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Not just yet," she said. Coleman shrugged and walked away. Elizabeth moved over to Sam and forced the paper bag into her hands. "Okay. Now I know you don't want to listen to me of all people but I need you to do this. Please breathe into the bag until you feel less light-headed and agitated. And I know you do because it's all over your face and I've been there. I have had so many moments just like this."

Sam stared up at Elizabeth with incredulous brown eyes but finally brought the bag to her mouth, cupping it around her lips and began to puff air into it. It was a long process to get her to halfway calm down but finally Sam chucked aside the bag and looked at Elizabeth tersely. "Why are you helping me?"

"I –"

"What's in it for you?" Sam snapped as she ran a finger under her eyelids and they came away sooty and black with smeared mascara.

Elizabeth frowned deeply. "Nothing, Sam. I just saw you looking really upset and I couldn't –"

"Resist playing Nurse Nightingale to poor, fucked up Sam?"

"Sam –"

"You don't like me!"

"Okay, yes, we haven't gotten along in years but that doesn't mean I can just turn a blind eye to your pain."

"What do you know about my pain?" Sam snapped out. "You can't compare us. I lost my son because of my own stupidity. I was out driving in a snowstorm and –" Her breathing became labored again and she buried her tear-streaked face in the paper bag, starting to puff into it.

Elizabeth sighed. Why had she thought she could actually help this woman who obviously did not want to be helped? Screw this. She started to walk away but tossed over her shoulder, "You think I don't know about loss? About guilt? My son ran out of the house while I was busy reading a paternity test. I left the door open…"

She then turned on her heel and started off when she heard Sam squeak out her name. "Elizabeth … Please… I can't believe I am asking this but … Please. Don't go."

Elizabeth paused in her tracks, not knowing what to do or say. Finally, she turned around and looked at Sam's miserable expression. "I'm sorry for your loss," she said. "I really mean that, okay? All I can say is … He's safe now. Wherever he is, he's feeling no pain. And like my son Jake, he's with his father. Heck, maybe our boys – our beautiful boys –" her voice cracked – "maybe they're even friends. Because they're brothers and I know Jason could bring them together in a way we wouldn't have been able to. They're in the arms of angels, Sam. And I know we want them here, I know they should be here, but at least there's a little peace in knowing they are not suffering anymore. Jason is taking care of both of them."

"I want Danny here," Sam moaned. "I want him here so bad… Does it get easier? Ever?"

"I could lie to you and say 'yes' but it really … It always hurts, just not as much over time. Of course there are going to be moments you … Well, moments where it's all you can do to keep breathing under the weight of the pain of your loss. But sometimes you can and sometimes you will have a memory of them that makes you smile, and not cry. And sometimes you'll just be grateful you had him as long as you did."

Tears continued to roll down Sam's face but she wasn't breathing nearly so harshly anymore. They would probably always despise each other but in that moment, they had connected on a human level - mother to mother.

"Look uh, it looks like my date stood me up so …" Elizabeth blushed a little in spite of herself. "Let me drive you home."

Sam shook her head. "I can't ask you to do that."

"Okay I am demanding you let me do that."

Sam smiled a watery, ironic smile for a moment. "I always knew you were a pushy broad." She then stood and followed Elizabeth out the back exit as Elizabeth grabbed her coat and shrugged it on.

Snow was falling all around them and Elizabeth, noting Sam had no jacket on, instinctively moved closer to Sam and offered her, her arm. Sam shook her head. "We're not friends. You don't have to pretend to care about me or if I die of hypothermia."

Elizabeth sighed. "What kind of nurse would I be if I let you die on my watch?"

"Die … God my son… my son died!" Sam wailed and it took Elizabeth's hands on either of her arms for her not to slide into the snow bank.

Elizabeth couldn't believe it but in that moment she was hugging Sam, hugging her tightly to her as tears of her own mingled with Sam's. This was heartbreaking and all-too familiar. Who knew that she and Sam would ever have even one thing in common?

They stood in the snow for the longest time holding each other as they both cried for all they had lost. Sam's fingers tangled in the waves of Elizabeth's hair and she pulled on the locks tightly, nudging her still closer until all they could do was breathe each other's oxygen. Their teary eyes met and held and Elizabeth didn't know who initiated it but they were suddenly kissing, lips lightly exploring each other's. Elizabeth wanted to pull away, knowing this could not end well, but she was held somehow captive by Sam's touch, by the petal-softness of her full lips. Sam was a damn sorceress and had captured Liz's attention, pulled her under a sea of pleasurable warmth.

Finally oxygen necessitated they come up for air and Elizabeth was worried about both of their lungs bursting now. "I –" Elizabeth started as Sam said the same thing.

They looked at each other. "You first," Sam said.

"No, you."

"Fine … what the hell was that?"

Elizabeth looked away. "I have no idea." She slowly stepped back from Sam. "We don't have to talk about it though."

"Are you embarrassed?"

"Should I be?"

"It was just a kiss," Sam said, touching her puffy lips. "I mean, I have kissed lots of people."

Elizabeth eyed her. "I bet…"

"Shut up," Sam said. "You ain't a virgin."

Elizabeth sighed then, running a hand through her hair. "Are we going to stand here arguing in the snow or are we just going to get in my car so I can crank on the heater? I am still driving you home. That – that - whatever it was - doesn't change things."

"Yeah, why should it? Chock it up to emotional desperation."

"Exactly …"

Elizabeth then beckoned Sam to follow her and they arrived at her Volkswagen. Elizabeth popped the locks with her electronic key and then they both climbed into the car. Elizabeth immediately put on the heater, noting the way Sam was rubbing her hands up and down her bare arms as if a fierce chill had caught her in its web of ice.

Elizabeth started the car and soon they were pulling out into the snowy night. Sam said nothing the whole ride to her place. As Elizabeth pulled to a stop in front of the penthouse, she turned to look at Sam. "Do you need me to go up with you?"

"No, it's okay," Sam said. "It's just … uh, well, how do I say this?"

"Say what?"

"Thank you… Well, I guess I just did say it … but I mean it. What you did for me tonight … it was pretty surprising considering how much we hate each other."

Elizabeth sighed. They weren't going to talk about the kiss and she was fine with that but she still had to say, "Maybe we can stop that. I mean, hating on each other all the time takes so much energy."

"Damn right it does."

"Who knows … maybe one day we can be friends."

"I wouldn't go that far," Sam said and wiped her moist eyes. "Sorry that was very catty. Low too considering how you helped me."

"Anyone would have."

"No they wouldn't," Sam said. "So again, thanks… Now I better go because all this mushy stuff is making me sick."

Elizabeth smiled as Sam kicked open the door. "Just so you know, Sam… I think you're going to be okay. You have lots of people who care about you. Just reach out to them."

"I'll try," Sam agreed. "Anyway … Goodnight, Elizabeth."

"Goodnight, Sam."

THE END


End file.
